Suffering is the First Step towards Victory

“Please, Mom I beg you,   do not look form the window, they will shoot you, please do not die, I love you, that is what my little boy said that day”.

She suddenly stopped talking, as if she were  trying to control her emotions and arrange the   words that she wanted  to say. She went on: “on that day, where I was sharing my children their  breakfast, we heard a strong sound it was so strong that it shook the house walls. That sound was followed by heavy shooting”. Samia, a 41year told me when I asked her about the current situation in her district.  

“The children trembled a lot and started crying.  I quickly took the children to a safe room where there are no windows  overlooking the street. Then I phoned my husband who was at work and told him about what happened asking him to stay where he is until I ask him stressing that everything is fine and there is nothing to worry about.

I stopped for a moment thinking what will happen and what I have to do, especially that I was alone with the children;  so I have to calm them  and to act quickly and wisely;  so that I can protect myself and the kids at  the same time”, she continued with a sweet smile on her lips..

 “The fighting has intensified, especially when  elements of the People’s Committees repelled the sources of fire in an attempt to put out the barbaric attack and defend innocent people in the neighborhood.

I asked my  elder daughter to put our clothes and necessary needs in a big bag, while I was  busy colleting  the papers, important documents and valuables and put them in a special bag to take it with us if we have to leave the house,” she added.

“The silence prevailed for a moment during which we thought that everything was over, but unfortunately, a strong explosion happened in our street that shook our house and neighboring houses .we knew later that the armed elements of the terrorist group have targeted the distribution  transformer in our neighborhood.

After the attack was repulsed silence prevailed again. Most residents packed their belongings up and left, but I was still waiting for the arrival of my husband to the house to see what we will do.

When my husband returned we decided to stay in our house especially that  the existence of the valiant members of the People’s Committees, who proved great ability to thwart any attempt of another terrorist attack, was to make us feel safe, but the strong fear of the kids besides the continued  gunfire that we heard  lefty  no other choice for us but to leave,” Samia said.

“We went to the home of relatives of us in one of the suburbs of Damascus. They have welcomed us so much. They were very kind  and that makes  us feel like we’re really in our house.

At night my little son whispered to me: Please, Mom I want to go home, I miss my bed and my pillow . I told him that we will return  back when it would be possible. He kissed me hiding  his tears.

I smiled in an attempt to relieve pain , fears and sorrows of all the people around me, encourage them and make them optimistic, but I was very sad resisting  a strong desire to cry. I am convinced that tomorrow will be the most beautiful and that what we are experiencing today is nothing but a difficult  test of our will and our steadfastness in the face of this world conspiracy against Syria. This made me feel that  I’m as strong as I did not feel before. I knew very well how to smile amid tears and how to tell all “good night” and do not sleep”, she stressed proudly.

“After three days, I phoned my neighbor  and asked her about the situation in the district. She answered that most people had left their homes, there is no water, no electricity and there are no shops for selling vegetables or even bread ..

We decided to go and inspect the house; so we left the kids at our relatives . On the way my little daughter phoned me  and asked me to bring her Hla, she meant her doll of course. The neighborhood was lifeless . When I entered the house I could not control myself I burst into tears I’ve missed every corner of it. I watered plants and took with me all the things for which I came and did not forget Hala of course”.

“When we came back , the children met us very happy as if they did not see us for a very long time, they  did not believe that they  will see us again; they believe that the terrorists were going to kill us ,  my elder daughter told me later.

In the evening, my little daughter, hugging her doll, slept happy for the first time since we left home.

In the morning she came to me and said do you know that Hala told me she wanted to go home? when shall we go back, Mom? I smiled trying to hide my tears and I told her tell Hala we will return home soon,” she said bitterly ……

“Being displaced, Samia continued, makes human experiences  overlapping and contradictory feelings that make him live in a state of instability, anxiety, discomfort, grief and despair but, thanks God, We have a great balance of patience and hope that makes us sure that  the coming days will carry the best so we decided to return to our beloved Kingdom to our house despite all the risks and difficulties that can confront us”.

“We have certainty that when we leave our homes we give the opportunity for terrorists  to achieve victory because he who leaves his home leaves his homeland and this will never be done. We will stay and challenge their terror because we are the strongest and we are the right and the right always triumphs.” she concluded.

Amal Farhat